Welcome to your Imagination

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Be the Beauty You Love

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Happy Father’s Day 2019

I made this for my father when he was very ill but still well enough to take solace from having it next to his bed. He died in 2012 and hardly a week goes past without thinking of him. Love never dies.Dad'sbookpg7dadsbookpg31.jpg

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Heart above the Horizon

Another photo by the incomparable, Randy J. Braun

Hi Lovelies,

How have you been weathering the changing seasons?  I’ve been starting my mornings with tea temperature hot water, a teaspoon of local honey, a small slice of peeled ginger and big squeeze of fresh lime. I like lime more than lemon for this sweet, slightly tart and warming drink that helps to get you and everything else moving in the morning. Another nice way I’ve been keeping up my hydration by making making my own spa-inspired waters.  You can do this too by combining 8-16oz filtered cold water, honey, a small slice or cube of ginger or lemongrass, a small slice of cucumber, a sprig of fresh mint or basil, and a small strawberry in a clear water bottle. So good for the senses and as pretty as it is refreshing!

After a slow start and a bumpy middle, I have finally found my writing flow. Some of you may remember that I’ve been working on this one for a while. It is a long held dream and I am so excited to be ready to share a small but sweet sample from the first chapter from my almost finished book, Two Minutes to Bliss: How to Reclaim the Power of your Attention and Create a Joy based Life!

Starting Where You Are and the Art of Kind Attention

Now that we have established the necessity of reclaiming the power of your attention by starting where with your thoughts about yourself and others (charity and peace really do begin at home), I want to share some of my real life experiences where this comes in really handy. One thing I know for sure is that there are no shortage of everyday ordinary and sometimes very trying opportunities to practice!

One of them that comes up frequently in my life and in the lives of anyone dealing with chronic illness, theirs or on behalf of a loved one, is dealing with medical bureaucracy. So to those of you who have survived your own gulag-like trials, and like me have spent hour after increasingly Kafkaesqe hour pinballing back and forth between long stretches of time on hold and those spent repeating the same answers to the same questions from a succession of different representatives who may or may not have amnesia and who then transfer you to a new department where you start all over again while you are still unfed and un-showered and wondering about your day job and how it can take 1/2 a day just to get a prescription that has already been authorized released to the pharmacy near the doctor’s office in time for your appointment, I bow in recognition and empathy! And I offer a few Bliss tips for dealing with the very human feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear that can arise when you aren’t sure you’ll be able to receive the medical care or medicine you need. You can use these as well whenever you feel the natural anxieties that come up in your day-to-day.

Stand up and plant yourself. Literally bring all of your attention to the feeling of your feet on the ground beneath you.  This is even better if you can do it with bare feet and have access to grass, sand, bamboo, or other natural ground cover. (If all you’ve got is concrete, laminate or carpet, of course it still works!)  Next, pay attention to your posture. This is the most important thing you can do besides breathing to minimize tension in your body and mind. 

Pay extra special attention to the area of your heart. Is it contracted and protected by forward slumping shoulders? Is it in a collapsed posture of defeat? Or is it lifted like a Sunflower to the Light? If your heart isn’t above the horizon, imagine there’s a string gently lifting you at your heart’s center. As you chest lifts and your shoulders naturally relax down and back imagine your heart being flooded with warm golden-pink light. 

What about your breath? You might be unconsciously holding it. Is your jaw clenched and your neck tight? Let them soften. This begins naturally and instantaneously when we stop thinking and start feeling the sensations in our throat,  jaw, face and hands, belly and brow, when we pay kind attention and simply sense what is already there, allowing our minds to let go of thinking, and our nervous systems to relax and release a soothing stream of healing hormones like oxytocin and dopamine and Gaba. . 

Walk your talk. You don’t have to take things sitting down. You can use your time on hold to practice mindful walking just by paying attention to the feeling and sound of your feet rolling heel-to-toe in concert with your breath.Let some of the stress roll off your back with gentle neck stretches and breathing in as you turn left or right, and out as you move back slowly to center. Or find strength by putting your hands on your hips in Wonder Woman pose while you wait on hold. You can also practice chair and standing mountain with warrior arms to increase your stamina and patience.

Reassure yourself by putting a hand on your heart or your chest and then silently or out loud tell yourself that you’re doing a good job. Remember that you and everyone else are actually doing their best, and that you can’t control everything, let alone other people. Appeal to the person’s sense of humanity by being polite and expressing appreciation for their part in helping you get your needs met. Consider that their life may be even more difficult than yours. Praise yourself for taking charge of your attention and for applying it kindly when the inevitable challenges arise.

Above all, keep in your mind and heart what my mother (and maybe yours!) always said:  this too shall pass, this too shall pass. And remember you really do have the power to find peace even in the midst of chaos by following any and all of the tips above.   

xoxoSabrina

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Adventures in slow food and quick bread

Hello again my lovely Readers and Creatives,

As more than a few of you know, I’ve been facing a couple of chronically challenging circumstances for quite a while now. As isolating as this can feel, the truth is I am far from alone. Too many of you beautiful hearts are also facing painful conditions that drain your life force energies, and make it that much harder to connect with the place of peace and joy that is our birthright and true nature.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes.” That includes you.” Anne Lamott

I know that when the going is tough it’s terribly tempting to dwell on the downside. Hell some days it’s almost impossible to get out up and get going. Goddess knows I’ve tried burrowing and bringing and imbibing. Everything from ocd to tv, tabloids, take away, home shopping, chocolate, cheese its, and chocolate martini’s to medical and non-medical marijuana to help me feel  better. Or at least forget my sorrows for as long as the episode and chips hold out. Sound familiar?

We human beings are hard-wired to try to avoid pain so there is no use beating our selves up when we choose the news or the double scotch or the double cheese burger with fries. It won’t make things better. It might make them worse. Because pain does not heal pain. Only Love heals pain. That is one thing I know for sure, and another is that Beauty in all its forms is as necessary as food and shelter to our well-being!

Such as this talk by the wonderful writer and teacher Anne Lamott. And this episode of HeartWisdom- mindfulness meditation teacher and author, Jack Kornfield’s podcast, about the awakening and healing quality of poetry and the arts.

He quotes some of my favorite poets, like Mary Oliver, and Rilke, and reminds us that sometimes the greatest political act is to turn off the news and turn on your favorite song, or take a walk and watch the sunset instead.

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Each bite its own morsal of comforting yumminess

Another way I’ve been nourishing myself (and a few lucky taste testing others), is by putting the finishing touches on my “Soul Food for the Senses” recipes in preparation for publishing them along with a guide to mindful eating!! 

Yes, this is a legit meditation practice!  It is about being present with the flavors and textures and tastes on the tongue as well as the feeling of chewing and swallowing and appreciating each bite instead of inhaling or zoning out when we eat. For me, baking is made all the more sweet by the graditude and appreciation I feel at being able (literally) to develop these soul satisfying heart healthy and still lushcious snacks and desserts.

The crumbly moist caramelized pineapple. banana, blueberry, low carb, low sugar, gluten-free, quick bread pictured above-which I’ve taken to calling believe in your dreams pineapple banana surprise- is a satisfying sweet but not too sweet loaf.  The tart-sweet pineapple and carmelized banana on top mean you only need a 1/2 cup of honey and a 1/4 cup of coconut or palm sugar for the whole loaf! While the coconut flour along with the almond flour keep it low carb and add a rich sponge cake like texture to the moistness of the almond flour and the bananas.

believe in your dreams pineapple-banana quick bread

guilt free! low sugar, low carb, gluten free!!

Now just let me be clear. I’m not suggesting that all your meals be mindful from beginning to end. Some days mindful eating is going to be remembering to pack some almonds and rice crackers so I’m not tempted to get a latte at 4pm.

What I am saying is that scheduling time to slow down and create a simple, peaceful, environment in which to taste and savor and engage our senses in the pleasures of eating, instead of grabbing and going and gulping down our lives, along with the food on our plates, is as important as what we eat.

Sabrina🌷

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I hold these Truths to be self evident. 

 

Hallo Lovelies,

It has been raining cats and dogs and mud for more than a week while the sun takes it annual winter break. Satine Bunny and I are toasty warm and inside. The rhythm of the rain is a quiet all its own and takes up the whole sky.  All this weather and a chest cold have made me even more aware of my senses. And made it all the more important to use their intelligence to guide me in making the most nourishing and healing choices as I go about allowing this cold to move through me.Because as the extraordinary, Jean Houston, teaches, our senses are indeed our doors and windows on this world, in a very real sense the key to unlocking the meaning and the wellspring of creativity.

At times like these, I am intuitively drawn to soothing things that open my chest and heart and clear my nasal passages. Such as the steamy sweet smell of my hot honey orange and lime water. I have it in my favorite cup and cradle it between my breasts. Warming myself inside and out. Chasing away   the raw cold place in the middle of my chest and uplifting my senses.

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And the ahhhh ooooh soo good feeling of letting the work of opening happen passively and naturally as I inhale deeply and to receive the life-giving essence of my breath move freely through my (once cold and crumpled) ribcage while resting on a yoga bolster my arms open like wings.

thanks to https://www.sandradawnyogawpg.com/blog/2016/4/22/my-favourite-restorative-yoga-poses-using-a-bolster

All around me people are complaining about the weather. Wishing winter wasn’t so damn cold. lol. I am definitely a summer baby. Much rather be too hot than too cold. Still I am also content to let winter be winter with all it’s chilly, bossy, bluster and adapt and respect accordingly.

It wasn’t always this way. In fact I am sure I have spent at least half my life wishing things were other than they actually are instead of meeting reality on its own terms.

If you are looking for a prescription for suffering look no farther. ” If you keep telling the same sad small story. You will keep living the same sad small life.” If you prefer to be happy try a little gratitude wrapped in tenderness or a little tenderness garnished with gratitude instead. Either way you slice it you come up whole.

So how grateful am I to be able to take time off from work and to have the time and money to spend on taking care of lit ol me. Molto molto, mui, tres!!!

This is a new thing. I  used to despair at needing to rest. Secretly I judged myself. Called myself names. Delicate, weak. Had genes to boot. My sensitive intelligent father was also branded with “delicate” constitution.

Biology is not destiny. Belief is. “Change the story and you change perception:change perception and you change the world.”

The old story: That I was not good enough and that I needed to prove my worthiness through doing. And while I did a lot, truth be told, not a lot of what I did truly needed to be done. And a lot of what I didn’t do really did need me to do it. At the time I wouldn’t have admitted that because I wasn’t in touch with my own needs or innate value. I now know that this belief did not help me get more done, faster, sooner or better. More the opposite. Like with a child or a horse. Eventually, the whipping stopped working the way I wanted it too and started to work against me. Somewhere along the way I had picked up false information and taken it as fact. So to that, I say

time to turn the page! We are not “encapsulated bags of skin dragging around a dreary little ego. We are an evolutionary wonder” The same air that moves the clouds and makes the rain and grows the flowers waters my imagination and feeds my dreams. I am whale song, and star-dust and palm frond. I am marrow becoming molecules of light, I am rainbow and mud becoming lotus flower and lichen, I am air flowing through rivers and through the silver gills of flat headed fishes, I am the song the whales sing, I am phosphorous and sand, hermit crab and shell, nautilus of possibility becoming possible. I am breath breathing myself into being, “a trillion cells singing together in a vast chorale, an organism-environment, a symbiosis of cell and soul.” A holy child of an Intelligent Universe and That Is more than Enough.

Beginning and end of story!!!

Take some quiet time/ see the magic
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Epic Adventures in Books, Cinnamon Honey Lattes, and Pancakes this Saturday and Everyday

Hello Lovelies,

I couldn’t wait any longer to write. I kept thinking i would wait until things settled down after the shootings, and the fire’s and the firing on of children and mothers at the southern border and my friend’s chemo and the first anniversary of my daughter’s father’s death and Thanksgiving which always makes me long for my parents born 4 days apart Dec 26th and Dec 1st, but I finally realized that if I waited until things settled down again it might be several years…. So here I am on what in my deck of the woods is a windy crisp cold bright day with hawks soaring in the pale blue sky along with occasional small plane on its way to Burbank. Speaking of being in the Valley and why I couldn’t wait any longer to write is that I have good things to share with you. Starting with our recent visit to the Iliad Bookshop in North Hollywood after a delicious breakfast at Bea Bea’s in Toluca Lake.

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I am in love with the house coffee

House Latte with honey and cinnamon. So more-ish
House Latte with cinnamon and honey. So yummy

which is made with local honey and cinnamon and highly reccomend the pancakes. So light and yummy. vegan pancakes light and fruity

I am also in love with Iliad- one of the coolest bookshops in town all up according to yours truly, as well as numerous other edified sources. Get you fill of almost everything arty here from graphic novels to art and poetry and cooking books, not to mention fiction, film and rock roll. They are featured in numerous movies, short films, and television shows, and are happy to answer any questions you have on buying or selling books. They are also, as far as I know, the only bookstore to have a mural and to be named after an epic poem!The mural (which extends down two sides of Iliad) includes not just literary scenes, but the portraits of more than 50 authors (and musicians who have been the subject of various books) and was painted by the seriously skilled artist Paul Dilworth. You can check out the gallery below for a key to who’s who and have fun take finding your favorites when you visit in person!

Personally I like that they have easy parking, a friendly helpful staff, good prices, couches, music, water, 150,000 books, and welcome visiting dogs on leashes. Sweet!

xoxoSabrina

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Catching the Light

“Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.”

-Clarissa pinkola Estes

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I love having these cheery little flower faces on deck.

Hello Beauties,

While our freedoms’ fate hangs in wait I’ve been preparing to lead a mindfulness meditation this Saturday, Oct 6th, at California’s first gathering of poet laureates and taking solace in the words of author, thought leader and Jungian analyst, Clarissa Estes. Her passionate and wise response to despairing friends could have been written today and yet its wisdom is timeless. 

She begins, “My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people” and goes on to say “In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.” She ends by writing, “ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.”

Now more than ever, with so much to be addressed, it is very good to be reminded:

What we can do is as important, if not more important than what we can’t.

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working on a new journal page.

To that end, I am so proud that on October 6th, Engaging the Senses Foundation (ETSF), in partnership with the California Arts Council, and the Los Angeles Department of Cultural Affairs/McGroarty Arts Center is sponsoring a coming-together event of current and former California local poets laureate in a celebration of the power of poetry on and off the page to nourish our deepest humanity.

The gathering is the brainchild of current CA state Poet Laureate Dana Gioia, who is featured in our documentary-in-production Be the Beauty. Dana is an award-winning poet, author of the seminal critique Can Poetry Matter?, and a recipient of the 2014 Aiken-Taylor Award for lifetime achievement in American poetry. He was also the Chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) from 2003-2008, where he created enduring art programs such as  Poetry Out Loud.

Dana’s desire to serve the underserved has informed all of the programs he has created on the federal and state level, which are consistently inclusive, with a focused yet broad outreach (for instance, as CA Poet Laureate he has visited every single district over the last two years, the first laureate ever to do so). His dedication to this vision mirrors ETSF’s commitment to vibrant inclusivity.  We believe that the difference these kinds of programs make to communities — and to the individuals within these communities who have the opportunity through them to being seen, heard, and valued — cannot be overstated. This is why we will be filming the event, so that its impact can reach as far as possible.

It’s our hope that this gathering of creatives can become a model for other state’s partnerships. We are proud to continue fulfilling our mandate by honoring the dedicated men and women who have committed their time and energy to championing literacy in their communities. After the working sessions, poets, teachers, and all poetry lovers are invited to attend on Saturday afternoon for what will surely prove to be a powerful and historic group reading.

We urge you to come so you can listen to, meet, and celebrate California’s vital public poets laureate! To register for this free public event.

Big Love,

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Engaging with “Me Too”

Engaging

“The beauty of “Me Too” is the sense of not aloneness, of solidarity, truth and community

Well hello again Beautiful Readers,

This isn’t the way I thought I would return to the page. However, if you like me are one of the one in six Americans whose life has been forever changed by rape attempted or enacted, you know that today is not the same old same old.

If fact, if you are one of the one in six, or simply one of the many people who know someone whose life has been forever affected by sexual assault, it feels like the world as we have known it is skittering on the brink of extinction. An extinction upon which the  our species depends in order to survive. And from which ultimately we can evolve and create a new just way of relating, rooted in compassion instead of competition. 

I narrowly escaped being raped in Westwood after a date in the 1980s with “a nice boy from a good family.” He was good-looking, strong and tall, a UClA football player on his way to med school whose father was a doctor.  I was as I am now petite and slender of frame.  After he pinned me to the floor of my apartment he began trying to both remove my underpants and force his erect penis into my dry vagina. Only by begging him to look into my eyes so he wouldn’t be able to deny that I didn’t want to be forced to have sex in this painful way did I get him to stop. 

The only person I ever told was my ex-boyfriend. It never even occurred to me to reported to the police. But this assault was one of the reasons I left Los Angeles.

Living here again in the midst of the Harvey Weinstein and much-needed “me too” movement, I am encouraged by a sense of recognition, solidarity and of hope. Those of us who came of age in the 80’s and 90’s and 00’s, and especially those who came of age pre-Oprah and Tyler Perry, would not have been able to believe that the topic of sexual assault can now be openly discussed. And that centuries worth of shame and blame are beginning to be healed.

When I was in my mid-to late twenties and fumbling my way through the lava field of trauma from being the victim of multiple episodes of childhood and adult sexual abuse and assault, I found solace in a remarkable book co-authored by the poet, Ellen Bass, called The Courage to Heal.

Cherished by survivors, and recommended by therapists and institutions everywhere, The Courage to Heal has often been called the bible of healing from child sexual abuse. For years, I passed it on to other women who, like me, sought to be free from the effects of this heinous and shattering form of violence on body, mind, and soul.  

To go from being a survivor to thriving is as much a state of mind as a state of mindfulness. It is possible to heal. I am living proof of that hard-won and still delicate peace. As someone with a sensitive nature and a background involving trauma, it is easy for me to become overstimulated and feel overwhelmed.

Working with my senses to create healthy adrenal, cortisol, blood sugar and pressure levels is key to being able to respond to challenges from a place of balance and strength. This means engaging mindfully and regularly with simple practices that nourish the senses and allow for complete and total relaxation of the flight or fight response. The use of imagery, meditation, and body-centered practices such as tapping are particularly helpful.

What I like is that it can literally be as easy as breathing in and out through my nose to a count of four while consciously relaxing the muscles of my face right down to the root of my tongue. Doing this engages the vagus nerve* which might just be the most important nerve you may not know you have. 

I thought I’d leave you today with this poem by Ellen Bass, performed by fellow poet and friend of Engaging the Senses Foundation, the extraordinary Kim Rosen. It’s a poem about learning to stop and engage with the mindful moment in the midst of whatever is happening, no matter how dire it seems.

Sending you all so much strength and love.

Engagingly yours,

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For more information about Ellen Bass or The Courage to Heal

*”The management and processing of emotions happens via the vagal nerve between the heart, brain and gut, which is why we have a strong gut reaction to intense mental and emotional states.It is related to the parasympathetic nervous system—and controls unconscious body functions, as well as very important things like keeping heart rate constant and aiding in the digestion of food to breathing and sweating. It also helps regulate blood pressure and blood glucose balance, promotes general kidney function, helps release bile and testosterone, stimulates the secretion of saliva, assists in controlling taste and releasing tears, and plays a major role in fertility issues and orgasms in women.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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push Play: relaxing by day sleeping @ nite

wayfayers chapel edit.
“By being well-rested, we are better able to respond to the demands of our lives with intelligence and kindness, resilience and grace.”
Hello again lovely Ones, 
I started organizing a library of sensory resources that take effect in twenty minutes of less to include in my new book Two Minutes to Bliss and am really excited to share in advance one of tried and true guided meditations populating the virtual shelves. It is from my favorite mindfulness meditation teacher and psychologist, Tara Brach.
I use her basic guided sensory scans regularly to enter into states of stillness, optimism and peace.
Listen: https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-relaxing-sleep/
I love how easy it is to use this guided meditation to “cultivate access to relaxed attentiveness and a pathway to ease-filled sleep.” Since many adults and teens and kids in the U.S. don’t get enough sleep it is good to find that studies have shown that mindfulness can make a positive difference.”When we effectively quiet the mind and relax the body, sleep comes naturally.”
I would love to hear how they work for you if You are inclined to share.

Big Love,xoS

Sabrina@EngagingtheSensesFoundation.com



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Mother’s Day inspiration

 

“There is no substitute for the intimacy of a handwritten note, no gift as singular as words carefully considered and chosen.”

Have you chosen your Mother’s Day card(s) yet? Think you might want to do something a little more personal to express your feelings?

With Mother’s Day just a few days away I wanted to share this resources from Poet’s.org. Here you can find the right words to say to your mother for Mother’s Day with this selection of meaningful lines you can share in your own personalized, poetic greeting to make this mother’s day a little more meaningful.

In fact,”the impulse to personalize correspondence is evident in the custom to sign letters by hand, even when the rest is typed. Like a fingerprint, handwriting can identify its owner; even mood and intention can be revealed in the bends and crosses of letters, hidden in the slant of cursive.

In her poem “Consider the Hands that Write This Letter,” Aracelis Girmay describes the act of writing: “The left palm pressed flat against the paper, / as it has done before, over my heart, /in peace or reverence / to the sea or some beautiful thing.” My mother who died more than a year of tears ago and was wont to say that “every day was mother’s day” was crushed and more than a little bitter about the one time I didn’t send a card.  So please learn from my mistake and send a card, even if it’s late. The time you take now to imprint your love and feelings of appreciation mean more than money can buy.

When we lose something the natural thing is to want to replace it. When your mother dies, no such fix is possible. As much as others can fill in there is just no substitute for the real thing. What I have found since my mom died last March is that locating within myself a good mother who thinks of and treats me like her cherished child is one of the most important ways to address the grief, as well as my health. Developing this way of relating to my needs has freed up my inner child and creativity. This kindness was the look in my mother’s eyes as she nurses a tiny tiny me in the rocking chair. The same chair in which she later sat reading me many books of poetry and prose.

Even though my mother died in 2016, I felt that in many ways I lost her long before that. It was not to Alzheimer’s or Dementia. We were spared that but others dear to me haven’t been and it has made me even more sensitive to those going through this painful situation. So when I read I Lost My Mother At Bloomingdales, the first poem in Kim Dower’s Slice of Moon, my heart ached to the bone…And that ending. I almost didn’t include here because it so sad… But then I realized that the poem does what poems do best. Take something too awful to bear and use it to create Poetry which like Beauty is a kind of communion. A language heard in the heart that uplifts and reminds us, we are not, alone.

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This kind of bird flies JetsuiteX

“It’s not a generation it’s a state of mind” Diane Di Prima

Hello again Lovelies,

When I said I had an abundance of good news to share I was in part thinking about our whirlwind trip to interview and film the legendary Diane Diprima. More than a year in the making, it was well worth the wait!

Life being what it is you won’t be surprised to hear that a few days before leaving, right after the burst of get-organized-to-go energy wore off, Hashimoto’s attacked and I found myself almost unable to rise out of bed after 9, even 10 hours of sleep along with headaches, heart palpitations, blurry vision and other ocular and corporeal unpleasantries.

Oh the not-joy of dealing with an auto-immune condition. I am in good company here, at least. Diane has her own share of auto-immune and health issues.

The plan had been to film Diane at the house she shares with her husband and fellow writer, Sheppard . . . but Diane was admitted to a rehabilitation hospital and it wasn’t clear whether we could go ahead. Then the hospital agreed to help us with the logistics, for which we are so thankful. Many more thanks to Diane for having the strength and the will to continue.

 

 

In fact, I can’t say enough about how moved and grateful our small team is to have spent such inspiring and intimate time with Diane at such a vulnerable time in her life.

I think we were all a little bit nervous and in awe that we were actually meeting and getting to film this amazing woman who has been described as, “poet, priestess, teacher, unrepentant activist,” and “the foremost female and one of the key figures of the original Beats.” 

After more than 2 years of hoping, while Diane took off her hospital gown and put on a becoming green gown Sheppard brought from their nearby home, we waited in the “green room” down the hall with a stack of books we hoped to have signed!

Then time slipped away and the only thing that existed was that small warm room where we were gathered. Listening to Diane talk in between sips of water from a straw and breaks to wipe the corners of her eyes, which are painfully affected by Sjögren syndrome, it was evident that Diane’s keen intelligence, courage and big heart were intact.

This trip to San Francisco was my first since the motor nerve damage effected my ability to walk and stand for periods of time. I was pretty nervous at first, but knowing that I would be able to avoid the stress of a large airport helped. So did the assistance of my cousin, the lovely, multi-talented TV and film writer Kate McKenna, who is newly engaged to long-time college sweetheart, Adam Bricker, cinematographer of the charming All These Small Moments with Molly Ringwald, Adam’s first feature film after several successful years filming the very popular Chef’s Table.

I can hardly wait to see her again and to talk about turning Diane’s Memoirs into a feature film and to thank her for being the best Production assistant and traveling companion I could have hoped. Even and especially when we discovered there was no way I was going to be able to climb the stairs to the poetry room at City Lights.

When we meet, we’ll also talk about turning Diane’s memoirs into a feature film. Yes, it’s true! Finally, Diane’s searingly honest and fascinating look into her life before and after Jack Kerouac, Allan Ginsberg and Timothy Leary,  Recollections of My Life as a Woman (2001), which “chronicles a life of adventure and vulnerability, and articulates the stakes she faced as an unwed mother in the 1950s,” is beginning its journey from page to screenplay!

Outside City Lights

Regarding the steep, narrow staircase I couldn’t climb at City Lights Books . . . .I cried for days once I got home over the disappointment, pouring my heart out to Diane in a text to which she replied,

“I’m sorry you feel so sad. I’m sure it’s because of the contrast between what you (& the rest of us) felt with all of us working together to make something happen that was so terrific and the relative isolation we feel at home. But don’t forget we’ll be working together in just a few weeks to finish up the film and there after there’ll be many get-togethers to deal with the music, plan showing and generally “get the show on the road” or more literally on TV as a miniseries . . . Indeed it seems to me that by creating this one project you’ve provided yourself and any of us who want to come along for the ride with a life-time of stuff to do. I for one have taken a ticket for the whole ride. So see you in a couple of weeks sweetie. Lot of love from me and Shep, Diane.”

I get goosebumps reading it still. So choo choo and woo hoo all aboard!!

 

 

 

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I am so happy to be…

Hello Beauties, It has been too long and I have so much to share. I can’t wait to tell you all the good news.Especially about feeling good, Hashimoto’s and my Joovv, a whole body infrared and red light device for … Continue reading

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